I am just home from an amazing VIP weekend retreat with a very transparent, committed and inspiring woman! I am always so grateful for the time I share with another human being who is courageous enough to look deep within and uncover all the amazing qualities they possess, but have been simply covered up by believing erroneous thoughts about themselves.
On the final day of the retreat forgiveness is the topic of emotional healing and wholeness. For to the degree we forgive ourselves and all those who have harmed us in some way is the degree we will be able to experience all the love, joy and freedom we desire.
Forgiveness is a one of the most profound spiritual practices.
Resentments, grudges, judgments drain our energy. Holding on to the past restricts the amount of love, success, vitality and abundance we are able to receive. When we forgive ourselves and others for the we rise up to new levels of self-esteem and happiness. Forgiveness is an important key that unlocks a new future for our lives. We are able to forgive when we find the blessing and the gift of any negative event.
Forgiveness requires us to accept every situation and circumstance as it occurred, and to surrender any attachment, desire, wish or opinion that a situation could or should have been different.
Forgiveness unfolds naturally when we are able to see the wisdom that is hidden within the painful events of our lives. When we make the decision to forgive others, we are the ones who benefit. Forgiving another for their wrongdoings does not condone their behavior; rather it is an act of self-love that frees us from the bonds of the past. Forgiveness lightens our hearts and liberates our souls. Forgiveness occurs when we are able to understand anothers pain.
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
Try this short guided visualization to help you let go of any resentment you may be presently holding in your heart.
Forgiveness Visualization: (Give yourself about 30 minutes to fully complete this process) You will be bringing to mind the person you most need to forgive as a young child.
1. Find a comfortable, quiet place so that you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and take a couple of slow deep breaths. As you become aware of your body, notice how you are feeling at this very moment. If you are carrying any tension or stress from your day, just allow it to easily drain out of your body and into the earth. Use your breath to bring your awareness inside. (The breath is paramount keep you breath flowing in a gentle deep and steady rhythm)
2. Now with each breath feel yourself floating down deep inside into your Healing Room, that safe, peaceful place within you where you have access to all the wisdom you need. As you arrive in your Healing Room, become aware of how it looks and feels. Take in the scenery, the landscape, and the environment . Notice how it feels to be in this sacred space.
3. Take another deep breath and walk over to your meditation seat. As you settle in to it, feel yourself becoming more peaceful, centered and connected to your highest self. Just sit quietly, observing the thoughts and feelings that are moving through you at this very moment. Now bring forth the intention to give yourself the gift of forgiveness today, to release any negative energy you have been holding another.
4. Now take another deep breath and think about someone you have been holding resentment or blame toward. This can be someone from your past or your present. Breathe deep and bring forth an image of this person as a small child, under the age of seven. Imagine what this person would look like as a small child. See the features of their face, their eyes, their lips, their small frame. Notice their mood and the look on their face.
5. Allow yourself to feel what it feels like to see this person, and to have them in your healing room. If you’re having any emotions or negative feelings toward this person, just allow them to be there. Now invite this child to sit across from you so you can look into their eyes.
6. Now, looking into the eyes of this child, tell them how you’ve been hurt by them. Allow yourself to communicate fully with them and tell them everything you need to say. Notice what it feels like to share your feelings with this person. Keep your attention on the breath so that you use the breath to process undigested emotions.
7. Now ask this child to tell you about their pain. Ask them to show you what made them the way they are — to share with you what pain from their past caused them to act the way they did with you. Breathe deep. Open your heart to their pain, their struggles.
8. Now, looking deeply into the eyes of this child, ask them:
a. “What wisdom do you hold for me?” “What lesson can I extract from the resentments I’ve held against you?” Let yourself hear the lesson that this person holds for you that you have been unable or unwilling to hear.
b. “What would I need to give up in order to receive the lesson you have been offering me?” What belief, what judgment or what behavior would you need to let go of to receive the wisdom they hold for you?
c. Now ask them, “What would be available to me in the present and in the future if I choose to receive your wisdom and let go of this resentment?” Allow yourself to vividly see how you would benefit by forgiving this person. Would you have more love, more peace, more success, more power?
d. Now look again into the eyes of this child and ask them, “What action step can I take this week in order to integrate the wisdom you have for me?”
9. Now ask this child if there is anything else they need or want to say to you. And now give yourself permission to say anything else you need to say in order to let go of this resentment.
10. Now if you are ready to give up this resentment, tell this child that you are going to cut the cord of resentment that has kept you tied together in a negative way.
11. Notice that there is an energetic cord of resentment that is attached from somewhere on your body to somewhere on their body. Tell yourself that it is safe now to cut this cord and to let go of this resentment. Take a deep breath and when you are ready, imagine cutting that cord of resentment. See the end of the cord that’s hanging down from you disappearing back up into you and the end of the cord that’s hanging down from them disappearing back into them. Feel what it feels like to be free of this cord. Breathe into whatever you are feeling right now.
12. Now look this child in the eyes and thank them for their wisdom. Tell them that you are going to have a new relationship with them. Declare to them and to yourself that you will no longer use this person to beat yourself up. Tell them that you will no longer use them as your excuse not to have everything you want.
13. Imagine this child growing smaller and smaller until they are small enough to fit into the palm of your hand. Place your hand over your heart and allow this child to enter your heart. As you breathe them into you, silently say the words “I forgive you and I bless you.” When you are ready, take your hand away from your heart.
Gently float back up and slowly open your eyes. Be sure to journal about the process and what you unearthed as a result of taking this time to look deeply into your own psyche and heal and process unresolved hurt and pain. You are on your way to being an emotionally intelligent human being!
Peace & Love,