Why You Should Hold Out On Sex and Other Life Lessons From 2012
Happy New Year!
So here we are, another year comes to a close. Recently I spent some time reflecting on 2012. It was a big year for me: I finally listened to my soul’s yearning and ended two very close relationships. I re-focused my life on me! I went from intellectually knowing how important it is to radically love yourself to really it! Yay for integration – there is nothing like taking knowledge to the next level and grounding it as wisdom.
Each day I awake with a sense of purpose that I haven’t had in many years. I thought maybe it would be helpful to share some of the key principles that I have known for a long time but now can say with certainty I am living. You can know a lot but if you don’t put it to practice daily then what’s the point?
Here are ten things I learned for sure in 2012:
1) If there is a lesson that the Universe is wanting you to ‘get’, it will keep coming up over and over and keep biting you in the butt until you resolve the underlying issue. What you resist, persists. The unhealthy relationships you keep finding yourself in, the fears that you keep anesthetizing, all your doubts about yourself and life will continue to pop up on your path forever until you deal with the root cause.
2) Your life is never good enough until you decide you are good enough — just as you are. Yep, right now, in this moment. Not once you’ve landed your dream job, attracted your soul mate, written a best selling book, or lost weight! Right now you are exactly ENOUGH! Do I need to say it again? Right now you are ENOUGH!
3) You don’t need to rely on someone stronger than yourself. I’ve managed to travel the world, be a single Mom, co-parent 5 step children, be an entrepreneur, leave long term relationships, survive a very turbulent childhood and now FINALLY realize that I have all the inner resources to get myself through anything. In other words, I don’t need a Mr. Big, (from Sex & the City) someone higher on the career ladder or with more social status to be okay.
4) Gratitude for the benefactors, friends, family, teachers and those people who have helped me on my path is essential. Pay it forward.
5) This is the foundation of my teaching: when someone else really pisses you off, it is almost always because you have some part of whatever bothers you about them inside of you.The world is a mirror and it reflects back to you who you are!
6) Goals are great, money in the bank is nice – however, what we are really seeking is to achieve a feeling, a vibration. When you look deep inside you find all you really want is to feel secure, safe, happy, loved, loveable, connected, fulfilled and peaceful. How do you do this? By recognizing how you want to feel all the time and doing more things that make you feel that way. There is more than one way to feel an emotion. Easy breezy!
7) There is no such thing as balance all the time. Give up the need to have everything balanced – what’s most important is to be present! Being mindful in the present makes it easier to become aware of what behaviors, beliefs, thoughts need to be nurtured and which need to die. When you let go of the stuff that is keeping you in mental prison you realize that this moment is sufficiently balanced. So summary: being present is the best gift you can give yourself and someone else (yes that means iPhone off the table and ears fully open).
8) My real life purpose is to embrace more and more of my authentic self, the real woman that I sometimes want to hide away in the closet because she’s feeling bitchy and judgmental and wants to eat Haagen-Daz coffee ice cream every night. Loving, accepting, embracing and sharing my unique gifts with the world is what I’m here for.
9) My grandmother was right – holding out on sex until you really know someone is the way to go if you’re looking for a relationship. Hold out until it hurts. Ladies, you hold the power in the relationship. Spiritually speaking women don’t need a man. However, the best way to grow spiritually is to be in a relationship. It requires the most work on yourself – like two pieces of coal rubbing each other makes a diamond. The relationship needs these 3 criteria: 1) similar goals/direction in life 2) equal level spiritually 3) same speed (one can’t be growing faster than the other). Combine these three and you will find yourself in a loving union.
And the final lesson. Drumroll pleeeeze…..
10) Last thing I solidified as truth in 2012 was, if you aren’t engaged full on and passionate about your life and what you are up to in the world then you will go crazy. Go out get your hands dirty, get messy and tend to your creative fire, it will make you an attractive force in the world for good.
May you be strong in your intentions this new year – knowing that you are the leading ladies and men of your life – that you and only you can direct and produce your life’s story. Make it a story that is inspiring, creative, uplifting, generous, fun, expansive this new year! Make it an award winning story! I AM IN are YOU?